New Energy- A new modern look for the CCMO website The new energy that has invigorated CCMO in 2006 and 2007 has led to an effort to modernize and reorganize the CCMO website into a simple user friendly resource. While CCMO is undergoing these changes please have patience as different links may move over time. Several priorities have presented themselves for the new look: education, marketing, and referrals. CCMO is positioning the website as a tool for educating the public, marketing the field and as an asset for professional mediator referrals. We hope that through several key changes we can accomplish these goals and reenergize membership to utilize our web resources. Key change 1: Article Library The creation of an article “library” is a large task. We hope to include a searchable section with information on mediation and the field. Articles may include statistics and information on the success of mediation. We are asking CCMO members to contribute articles they may have written or to write articles on several topics (see the topic list below if you are interested in contributing). These articles will be randomized to rotate on the main page and will be attributed the member that wrote the article. In other words it would serve as a mini-advertisement for the mediator member who wrote the article. At the bottom of an article we would include the members contact information, such as your company name, phone number, Internet URL, or logo. We hope this marketing incentive will encourage members to contribute articles to educate the Colorado public about our services. Key change 2: Mediator Referrals We hope to expand our current Professional Mediator referral system. We would offer the public a more sophisticated search process when requesting a mediator referral. Specific search criteria might include a search by zip code, mediator specialty or price range. We would also improve the randomization of the system so that the public might receive three referrals after one search, come back to search a second time and receive three different referrals. In this manner we hope to help the public receive more specific referrals for their needs and location. Additionally, we hope that this system will be more valuable for our Professional Mediators. These changes represent “phase in” of the website redesign throughout 2007. Over time a second phase could include the possibility of a “members only” section. Key features might include a log in for members where you could update your information in real time, register for events, or renew your membership online. We encourage your input as we move forward. Please submit articles for the CCMO website or questions to Pearl Bell pearlbell@comcast.net CCMO Website Redesign Committee Chair. Website article topics: Why use mediation? Mediation in… *Divorce *School
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Archetypes in Mediation Mediators like lawyers deal with the problems of people. In order to best serve our clients, we have to be sensitive to that which drives the people. In rare instances the problems are of an entirely factual nature and the psychology of the disputants is not an issue. However, reasonable people can and do work matters out; mediation in those circumstances, let alone litigation, is not usually necessary. In most other circumstances, it is useful to look at the psychologies of the parties. It’s important to remember that mediation is neither the practice of psychology nor analogously the practice of law. Thus whether you are trained as a lawyer or psychologist, while acting as a mediator, you must refrain from acting as a therapist or a lawyer. However, it is indisputable that knowledge in these and other disciplines may give you an edge to understanding and effectiveness in mediation. There are many different systems of psychology and social psychology. Each has value. In one form of psychology, you look at certain “world-views” that are the product of trauma. In another psychological model, one that was promulgated by Carl Gustaf Jung, you look for the appearance of archetypes. Archetypes, in classical Jungian theory, are modes of thought, prototypes, perhaps like Platonic forms, which are derived from the race of humans, thus genetic, and found in the unconscious mind. Jung posited several basic archetypes: the Self, the Shadow, the Anima, and the Animus. The “Self” is how we would like to be: individuated, integrated, conscious. The “Shadow” is considered to be barely unconscious, where opposing thoughts register. The Shadow can be mischievous, repressed, instinctive, irrational, sometimes but not always evil or self-destructive. The Shadow is the part of the personality that we prefer not to show others or our conscious selves. Sometimes the Shadow is our dark side. Various arts like psychotherapy and aikido allow us to embrace and integrate our Shadow with our Self. This is a healthy outcome; this may occur during mediation. Take for example a disputant who realizes that they were motivated to self-destructively cause problems out of displaced or unexpressed anger, or from stubbornness. Or a disputant who realizes that their lack of settling has come from hurt feelings that they now can and do express. We have all seen these scenarios. Here a part of the Shadow is integrated and embraced by the Self; only then can the person move on toward a rational settlement. In Jung’s archetypes, the “anima” and “animus” have to do with feminine aspects of the soul within a man, and masculine aspects of the psyche within a woman. These are complex topics and beyond the scope of this discussion. However, along the lines of Jungian thinking, there have evolved a whole host of archetypal manifestations. These are prototypes of human thought that are found in literature, movies, poetry, and art, as well as in the psyches of the people sitting across from us and with whom we deal in our lives. It is useful to be sensitive to these prototypes and tentatively identify them where applicable. For a brilliant rendition of extended archetypes, e.g., see http://www.myss.com/ThreeArchs.asp. Do an Internet search on “archetype,” and you will find a plethora of resources and viewpoints. Here are some archetypes I have found useful to contemplate and keep in mind: The Victim: This is a person who draws problems and failure to themselves. A Victim can be a difficult people with whom to mediate (or represent) since he or she does not allow matters to work out favorably. If you see Victim energy, you need to be supportive without nurturing their tendency to fail. The Bully: The bully uses power and aggressiveness to influence others with his own will. As Caroline Myss (cited above) says, conventional wisdom is that the Bully is truly covering up his own fears. You can not let the bully intimidate you; you need to stand up without fighting back. You need to embrace the bully, too, while not falling sway to his power. The Child: The Child can be an innocent child, an orphaned child, a nature child, a wounded child or others. In the context of mediation you need to be supportive of the child standing up for her own needs and finding a solution to her own problems, thus moving on to the Self. On the other hand the Shadow of the Child can be found in traits of stubbornness, anger and other childlike responses to real life, adult, legal realities. If the child vents and then comes to see the adult reality, you are doing your job, whether you use a directive or facilitative or other model of mediation. Another archetype is that of the Avenger. The Avenger rights wrongs, fights for the downtrodden. This is an ideal attorney image. The dark side of the Avenger, the Shadow, can be a person who will use any means to get their way: unscrupulous, lying, bullying, nasty, destructive. That too is found in the m.o.’s of some attorneys. In mediation, attorneys can be allies of the mediator in eliciting the reality of the situation and wisely advising their client or can be draconian shadows, manipulating the truth, creating impasses, twisting words, and destroying accord. You need to figure out what you are dealing with- a wise advocate or a demon, and deal with it. You may ask the parties to speak without the attorneys interrupting or not even present; or you may find that an attorney is giving a client supportive and realistic and essentially invaluable advice. Closely following in the analysis of the archetype of the Avenger is the archetype of the Judge: Everyone’s image of a Judge (at least in the West) is that of the patriarch or the matriarch or even that of King Solomon. The Judge is the paradigmatic authority figure. People often go to court because they believe that the Judge will understand their plight and use wisdom and compassion to find a just solution. Perhaps they are looking for parental approval and understanding? In court, these models usually fail. The Judge in court is bound by a body of law and cases, and the outcome is either dissatisfying to one or both parties. Further the judge in real life may be battling his or her own demons. Perhaps she was abused, neglected, bullied or treated unjustly as a child. Perhaps she has her own shadows to contend with, as most people must. Mediators need to warn the parties that a judicial solution may be unsatisfactory to one or both sides. Even when a side “wins” there is also a concomitant loss. If the two (or more) parties can resolve the issues between themselves, there are many benefits. First of all there is the satisfaction of having participated in your own solution to your problems. This is the paradigm of the Self- the self actualized soul solving problems and progressing in the world. This is also the archetype of the Hero, the individual who on her path to individuation meets with and resolves obstacles to become more whole. This is an opportunity for the Hero to embrace his or her Shadow (though we would not say that in mediation or usually otherwise) and gain strength and clarity. Additionally, there are the benefits of the savings of cost of litigation, emotional as well as financial; the time expended in litigation; the uncertainty of the outcome of litigation. There is also the possibility that the outcome of litigation will lead to more problems, for example, continued disputes, costs of collection, appeals, and the likelihood of further and different disputes. There are classic situations to which to be sensitive in mediation: Uneven power, corporate mentality versus individual needs, cultural and gender differences, social and psychological pathology, and various game-playing theories. Even in those situations, you may see the interplay of archetypes. Archetypal thinking is a tool to sensitize one to the play of emotions in the sea of mediation. Think up some archetypes that you perceive, and their shadows, too. Write to me at jonmillerlaw@gmail.com and let me know your positive thoughts.
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New Book Focuses on Bringing Mind, Heart, and Spirit to Conflict Resolution and Relationships through Non-Adversarial Communication Non-Adversarial Communication: Speaking and Listening from the Heart is a guide for bringing the language of mind, heart and spirit to conflict resolution and to personal or professional relationships. It engages the reader in peace-building approaches that work for families, businesses, and communities, small and large. Non-Adversarial Communication (NAC) builds on the renowned and reality-tested work of Marshall Rosenberg. “NAC isn’t a set of techniques,” says Arlene Brownell, Ph.D., the book’s lead author. “It’s a way of thinking, acting and being. It’s about seeking understanding and relinquishing judgment.” Brownell describes the book’s approach as layered and experiential. “Grasping the content intellectually is only the first step,” she explains, “so we use the ‘know-show-do’ model.” Chapters on the key concepts of intention, observation, feelings, needs and requests include numerous real-world examples along with activities to deepen understanding and foster skills. There’s also a month-by-month guide. “Engagement and daily practice enable people to infuse NAC into their personal and professional lives,” Brownell says. Tom Bache-Wiig, Brownell’s partner in life and business, collaborated with her on the book. It draws from their work as mediators and trainers as well as their personal experiences. Bache-Wiig notes that limits on resources and differences in people’s interests and wants make conflict inevitable. “Reflection, self-awareness and practice allow people to be in conflict with one another without becoming adversaries,” he says. “Using NAC, they can use language that promotes understanding while addressing the issues.” Non-Adversarial Communication: Speaking and Listening from the Heart is scheduled for release the third week of March. Available through local bookstores and Amazon.com. ISBN-10: 9780977123216; ISBN-13: 978-0-9771232-1-6. Single copies are $16.95. About Connection Partners, Inc. In addition to mediation and facilitation services, Connection Partners, Inc. offers public workshops in Non-Adversarial Communication, for professional and personal skill building. Contact: Arlene Brownell at (303) 449-2553 or brownella@connectionpartners.com, or Tom Bache-Wiig at (303) 443-2709 or bachewiigt@connectionpartners.com
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Save-the-Date for the First CCMO Mini-Conference CCMO Mini-Conference: Saturday May 12th, 2007 from Elder Care Mediation is the first in a series of CCMO Minis focusing on sharing knowledge and developing relationships between conflict resolution practitioners and other professionals. Information about registration
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SAVE THE DATE Colorado’s FirstAnnual Statewide ADR Conference This first conference will
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The Professional Mediator Application Review Committee Seeks Additional Member The Professional Mediator Application Review Committee is seeking one additional committee member, preferably who holds CCMO Professional Mediator status. Must be available during the first two weeks of each month to receive and reply to mailed applications, have reliable email access which is checked regularly. Contact Trish Elledge at 303/791-3574 or elledgegroup@aol.com (be sure to put "CCMO Committee" in the subject line to avoid deletion).
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Congratulations to the Following CCMO Members Who Recently Gained Professional Mediator Status: Deborah Valentine, MSW, Ph.D.
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Upcoming Events APRIL
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CCMO Board Information:
Contact Us: (303) 322-9275 or 1-800-864-4317 6064 South Taft. Way
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